October 16, 2008

Nope...I Didn't Make it Up

So, I've written before about my fabulous white-trash neighbors. Well, today's episode takes the cake. But, I guess I should fill you in on their activities the past few weeks.

So, about a week ago, I was cooking dinner. Not an unusual occurrance. I was in my kitchen when I heard crying. Well, not really crying, but sobbing. Coming from a child somewhere outside of my house. So, being a responsible adult (be impressed, please) I went outside to investigate. And my neighbor's kid (hers, not his) was sitting in the grass, crying.

Me: "What's wrong?"

Mom (storming out of the house): "He's FINE. He's just upset that his toy is missing"

Me: "Ok, well, I just heard crying and wanted to make sure everyone was ok."

So, the next day, I was heading out of the house to go meet some friends, when my doorbell rang, twice. Seriously?? Who rings a doorbell twice within a one minute period? I open the door and Parrish is standing there.

Parrish: "Hey, I just wanted to come over and apologize."

Me: "Apologize? For what?"

Parrish: "Well, I heard about what happened yesterday."

Me: "What happened yesterday?"

Parrish: "Well, what you should know about Sally-Ann (I think that's what we're calling her since I still don't know what her name is...which apparently, is now insignificant. KEEP READING!) is that she's bi-polar and she's been off her meds for a while. So I'm sorry about the yelling and about her getting so upset with you yesterday."

Me: "Yesterday wasn't a big deal. I didn't mean to butt-in, but I heard someone crying and I wanted to make sure everyone was ok. I would expect that if I had kids, one of my neighbors would do the same for me."

Parrish went on to tell me that she apparently went off to him about me butting in and being nosy and trying to imply she was a bad mother. SERIOUSLY?? I don't even have that good of an imagination.

So whatever, fast forward to today. My friend Tonya and I went to lunch. When we got home, Sally-Ann was throwing shit in her car. And ANGRY about it. With a vengance almost. So, as I get out of the car, I say "Hey are you leaving?"

And then, she utters the line that every woman has said more than once, "oh yeah, I'm fucking DONE."

Me: "Oh! Are you ok?"

Sally-Ann: "I keep saying I'm going to do this, and now I'm done. He hasn't been home in days. He must be on drugs. He's been to four different hotels and has wiped three grand out of our checking account. He must be on drugs. Do me a favor, if you hear a ruckus, call the police."

Me: "Um, ok."

Sally-Ann: "No, seriously. He's on parole (wtf????) and shouldn't be doing drugs. This is such bullshit. I'm just DONE."

So, um, ok. Aparently, my new neighbor is a felon or something. And he's on PAROLE. What's up with that? I know Bob (my landlord) doesn't do background checks, but come on. UPDATE: here's the LIST of things he's been convicted of...its a long list!

I'm so glad I'm moving in 16 days!

MollyWood loves ya...catch you later!

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